You know how during the first week in elementary school, the teacher has you answer questions like, who are the top 5 people you’d like to have dinner with? Well, one of mine is David Ortiz.
For those of you who don’t know him…get out. Don’t read my blog and I despise your very existence.
Okay, for the rest of you….you feel me, right? I think I’d start the conversation off by humbly asking him if I could be his wife. If he’s not down for that, then I would ask if I could at least be his kids’ babysitter….because how cool would that be and I’m sure he’d pay well.
Then I’d ask him for dating advice, whether or not he’s heard from Manny, and what kind of car he currently drives.
Next, I’d try to make him laugh that Big Papi laugh with a few jokes:
Grace: Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?
Grace: She ran away from the ball!!
Finally, I would ask him about his life – his experiences, what he’s learned from them, what’s most important to him – and I’d shut the hell up and listen. Because, in all seriousness, David Ortiz is the only person in sports that I have true respect for. There’s a reason he’s become a symbol for the Sox. It’s because he’s proven his loyalty to the team. And he’s the “Big Papi” because he’s always jolly like the Pillsbury doughboy. From the interviews that I’ve listened to, and the way he carries himself as a player and as a person, I feel like he’s someone with a lot of good things to say.
Sure, he demolishes phones every once in a while. But it’s not his fault he has monstrous strength.
Big Papi, if you’re reading this…let’s get dinner.