Everything you need to know about me

I used to do those ridiculous Facebook note surveys all the time. And I’d post them on Facebook, because obviously everyone cares whether I’m a morning or night person.

Definitely a night person, for the record.

Anyway, they are madly addicting…so, an “All About You” Survey:

What could you eat any day of the week and never get tired of?

Strawberries, candy corn, Altoid minis, cheez-its, peanuts, marshmallows

Where would you take someone on a first date?

I’m quite the charmer, so…the moon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Would you change yourself for the person you love?

Absolutely not…just like Samantha from Sex and the City said, “I love you, but I love me more”

Would you kiss anyone you have texts from in your phone?

Absofruitly

Six months ago, can you remember who you liked, who was it?

Jonathan Papelbon ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anything embarrassing happen today?

I didn’t dominate the scene like I usually do

What does your phone do when it receives a new text?

I wouldn’t know, nobody texts me WAHHH

Has anyone ever done something mean to you while you were sleeping?

Yeah, woken me the eff up

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Yeah, Big Papi

Papi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Would you rather be at the beach or lake?

The beach, for sure. In fact, my facebook password used to be “beachy”…but I have since changed it

Have you ever cried from being so mad?

About once a month, when the damn PMS strikes

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made?

Yes 🙂

Would you rather be forced to eat 100 bananas or 100 apples?

Ummm…bana…no…app…no….ba…this question causes me enormous stress

Is good grammar attractive?

Good grammar are very attractive, yeah

Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Mike the Bartender!

Who was the last person to call you baby?

Justin Bieber

bieber

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Has anyone ever sang to you?

No, because I would never allow that. I would rather be eaten alive by ants.

What is your favorite color?

Turtle

If you could have one wish right now what would it be?

The only correct answer to this question is a million more wishes

When is your birthday?

This is way too personal of a question

Do you want to get married and have children one day?

I gotta pass these precious genes on somehow…

Who is the 9th contact in your phone?

Anderson Cooper (dream husband)

anderson_cooper_360_ver6_xlg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ever liked someone who treated you like crap?

Yeah, Jacoby Ellsbury…he up and left for the damn Yankees

If you could spend more time with someone you used to be very close with, would you?

This question bores me and I refuse to answer it

Could you go a day without eating?

Probably, but you don’t want me to. I’m scary when I’m hangry (hungry + angry)

What are you excited for?

Red Sox season

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?

Santa saw me. Santa sees everything.

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed?

Why yes, I do

Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now?

I mean, if he blows my socks off then yeah, why not

What are you listening to now?

Promise by Eve 6

Would you take someone back if they cheated on you?

Depends on the circumstances, but possibly

Where was your default picture taken?

Italia!!

italia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anything you really want?

Teleporting powers

What was last thing you drank?

Cinnamon tea

How many pets do you have?

I’m glad you asked. None right now. But one day I will get a little puppy named Peanut Butter. And I will get Peanut Butter a brother…a pug named Nugget

Would you kill someone to save someone you love?

We all would

Are you allergic to anything?

allergic to jerks

The Pros and Cons of dating a bartender

No, I am not dating a bartender. I’ll clear that up right away. Yes, there was Mike the Bartender, who I met a while back at Tommy Doyle’s. It didn’t amount to anything…no harm, no foul. But I did get some insight into the pros and cons of dating a bartender.bartender So if you’re wondering…

Bartenders are held in high esteem by most of society. This is due to their magical drink-making abilities. Do you watch in awe as they use that shakey-thing to make your drinks which require shakey-things? I sure do. This is one pro to dating a bartender – you can brag about how you’re dating a bartender. Does he let you use the shakey-thing, everyone will ask with utmost curiosity.

Bartenders are always friendly as well. You can count on them to laugh at your drunk jokes (partly because they want a big tip). And if you are dating the bartender, he will surely give you two limes instead of one. This is the perk of all perks, if you ask me.

Bartenders can also put your drinks on something called a “promo tab”, which means you won’t be paying for those vodka sodas. If he’s a real man, he should be paying for them out of his own pocket, but I suppose we’ll overlook that.

It’s not all glitter and sparkles when dating a bartender, though. Often they have another job besides bartending, which means they literally have no time for you. They are usually working weekend nights too – a major bummer. And finally, you know they are silently judging you if you order a Bud Light. You just know.

He Who Shall Not Be Named

And to think…I had nearly decided to marry Ellsbury. Imagine the public humiliation if I had. I can’t even say his name…from now on it’s, He Who Shall Not Be Named. That’s right, move over Voldemort. There’s a new Dark Lord…

jacoby-ellsbury-pic

Just look at that evil smile.

He Who Shall Not Be Named was becoming my favorite player. I was going to buy a jersey with his name on it!! I continuously ask myself, how does one recover from this betrayal? Will I ever be the same?

My main man, Big Papi, must be disgusted. He has loyalty. I bet He Who Shall Not Be Named can’t even spell loyalty. It is beyond me how one can win a World Series with the greatest team in baseball, and then willingly don those uglyYankee pinstripes, just to make more money. But I suppose if you have no soul, that is exactly the sort of thing you do.

My wish is that every time He Who Shall Not Be Named attempts to steal a base, a bird take a gigantic shit on his head. And I hope that the Green Monster haunts him in his sleep. Only then will I rest easy.

I recently read an article that said something along the lines of this: baseball players used to join the Yankees in order to win rings…now they join the Yankees to get old.

Sayonara suckaa!!

My Trip to Texas

This week I visited the lawless state of Texas for work, where the speed limit is 75 mph, and instead of McDonalds,  there are gun texas cowboyshops on every street corner. I know that there are many Texans who want to secede from the United States. Well I say go for it, because it’s a different world. Imagine one day telling people you’re traveling internationally…to Texas. Ha!

We saw a real live cowboy. He was wearing a cowboy hat and boots and a huge silver belt buckle. We saw him drive off in a black Mercedes, which was surprising, because we expected him to ride off into the fields on a stallion. I bet he’s wrestled a rattle snake with his bare hands.

We had amazing food, of course – Tex Mex, BBQ, and steak. The second night there, we went to the Wildcatter Ranch and Resort for dinner. We expense our food and drink to our company, and have $60 each day we can spend, so naturally we got the most expensive steak on the menu.

cactusOutside was a big cactus, which I stupidly decided to touch. I got a little prickly in my thumb…a souvenir of the place I suppose.

On our way back to the airport on our last day, we had some time to kill. So we stopped off in Arlington, TX to see Cowboy Stadium and Rangers Stadium. I was happy to see Cowboy stadium, because as a Giants fan (and naturally a Cowboys hater), I was able to place a curse on the team so that they never beat the Giants again. You’re welcome, Big Blue.