MLB Breakup Drama

You just know John Farrell is getting 2 am drunk texts from Jacoby Ellsbury. 

That’s right, He Who Shall Not Be Named is realizing what a huge mistake he has made. Those pinstripes don’t flatter him like he thought. So he knocks back a few Boston Lagers and the sweet World Series memories come rushing back.

“JOHN It’s me Jacoby. Hi how r u? Just thinking about you and the boys”

But John Farrell is busy enjoying a brewski with Big Papi. He ignores the text. After 21 minutes, his phone buzzes again…

“I hate you I don’t need you, leavin u for the Yanks best decishun of my life”

John chuckles to himself. 4 and a half minutes later…

“I didn’t mean that, tkae me bak”

But it’s too late for you, Jacoby.  You may have broken our hearts, but we’ve already moved on. Sure, we may have rubbed in your face a bit what a traitor you are. We had Jon Lester (our star, our ace) publicly say that he plans to stay with the Red Sox for life, the only Major League organization for which he’s worked. He is even willing to take less money in order to stay:

But now we’ve replaced Jacoby…with none other than Grady Sizemore. I remember when he was on the Cleveland Indians. I understood immediately why he had his own fan club – Grady’s Ladies. He was arguably the most handsome player in the game (sorry Papelbon). But he was on the Indians, and I couldn’t stand how their fans waved those stupid white towels during the play-offs. There was no way in hell I could publicly admit my love for Grady.

But now, he’s an outfielder for the Red Sox. I experienced heartbreak when Jacoby left us, but time has healed that wound. And now…I am finally a Grady’s Lady.

♥♥♥♥

I’m running another 5K GAHHHH

So guess what, I’m willingly subjecting myself to the torture of another 5K run. I’m going to do the Color Me Rad run in May. There is no free beer at then end of the race, so drinking away my pain is not an option (immediately after, that is). But I’ve decided, it’s time to  run a race and not drink beer afterwards. I’ll be 24 years old after all – time to grow up, Grace.

This means I’ll need to get in good shape. I went to the gym last night and actually pushed myself a little. I didn’t run as far as normal, but I did increase the speed and the incline. I’m definitely feeling it now, which is a good sign. I should probably start doing things besides just running. I never got my two-pack like I wanted to, so maybe I should try crunches.

A bunch of guys at work are doing Tough Mudder. Did you know that you get electrocuted in that? But that’s not even the worst part. From what I’ve heard, jumping into the ice water is the most awful part of the race. I couldn’t even imagine – I would literally die. At least you get a free shirt, which partially makes up for the agony.

You know, while writing the past couple paragraphs I’ve been thinking…they really should serve beer at the end of Color Me Rad. I’m going to write a letter.

The best and worst of online dating

A few weeks ago I got dinner with a very close friend of mine and her new boyfriend. I’ve seen her date a number of different guys, but I had never seen her click with someone quite as much as with this new boy toy of hers.

I come to find out, they met through online dating. Now, I’ve never been against online dating, but I  never thought it was for me. On the way back from dinner, though, my roommate, who had been with us, convinced me to create a profile. I had had a couple drinks, so I went along with it.

TURNS OUT, online dating is wicked fun! First off, it combines two of my favorite things: online shopping and guys. Yes, you literally get to scroll through so many different profiles. And you can be as picky as you want, all behind the safety of a computer screen.

Not hot enough…next! Too artsy…next! Can’t spell basic words…next!

And of course, there is your own profile – you get to brag about how awesome you are and answer tons of questions about yourself. It’s a self-absorbed person’s dream come true!

And finally, it’s major confidence boost. You can see everyone who visits your profile, who gives you 4 or 5 stars, and obviously who messages you. I know this is bragging, but I’ve gotten a lot of messages. And it makes me feel like this:

Damn right I’m hot…

…but more like the woman version.

I am not going to say whether I’ve actually gone out on any dates – maybe I have, maybe I haven’t. That part I’m going to keep personal. I promise though, if I meet the love of my life, I will inform all of you. To be honest, I don’t expect that. I’m not taking it really seriously, because ultimately, it’s just another form of social media, and should not be depended on or used as a substitute.

But I must say, it’s fun, and kind of addicting, so if you’re single, give it a try.

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year!! Sorry for not posting in a while, I suppose I was just too consumed with all the holiday merriment and cheer 😛

I certainly don’t post as often as I’d like, so my New Years resolution is to do way more of it. Keep me in line, people. Make sure I stick to it! Give me ideas for posts, that’s always the hardest part.

So here’s the status of my life, as of January 1st, 2014:

I’m still 4’11”.

I’m almost done with Breaking Bad, and I can already feel the depression creeping in. Next, I’m going to start watching House of Cards (it’s similar to BB but political, so I think I’ll really like it), Damages (another BB-type show but about lawyers), and Modern Family (nothing at all like BB).

I’ve been eating a lot of Christmas cookies lately and should probably hit the gym soon.

I have a cold, which is expected for this time of year. It gives me an excuse to pound Ricola cough drops like candy though. Score.

I’m still single, but not complaining. People love single girls.

I made a new friend recently! I met her through my old roommate and she went to Uconn as well. She’s pretty much exactly like me, which is obviously why she’s so cool.

I’ve really gotten into gin and tonics, which I first tried on a work trip. People automatically think you’re classy when you order it at the bar.

I’m still really upset at Ellsbury.

I’m highly considering changing my Facebook cover photo soon.

SHIT my rent! Gotta go send that out RIGHT NOW. Later gators!